Supporting Active Fatherhood in Britain by Laura King

http://www.historyandpolicy.org/papers/policy-paper-132.html#top

Laura King's recent research on 'Active Fatherhood' in Britain is a refreshing paper to read, depicting a more balanced positive view on the male paternalistic representation, in a more positive light, as a caring and loving father. It is comforting to read that indeed majority of men, once married or in a serious long term relationship, are in fact very much keen, when the time comes, to fully enjoy and proudly assume fatherhood status. A cherished position even more appreciated once having babies becomes a more desired and wanted yearning, rather than a regrettable error in counting or an unfortunate moment lost under the spell! Many men indeed do take their responsibilities as fathers very seriously, and thank god for those! 

For the most, many are caring and loving husbands and good supportive partners to their spouse. The undisputed signs of a great father to be are to be found in his own behaviour and conduct towards his own family. This is where the reputation of a man precedes him. I can certainly attest to these qualities, tried and tested over years and decades, going through the bad and the ugly, as much as the good and the great! These personally found in my own loving dad, extended to my lovely husband, and thankfully passed on to our sweet son, soon to be a dad himself! Great no doubtJ

A man who cares about others, who has high integrity, is dedicated towards each member of his family, taking keen interests in the affairs of his own, where siblings and parents matter deeply. These are great signs of a person who does not only live to fulfil his own egocentric needs and selfish ways; rather a man who believes in the generous giving as much as, if not more, in the gratitude of taking. He is a precious man indeed. 

These are virtues to hold on to! Such a man not only is he a great son, a wonderful brother and loving husband; he is most of all a trusted friend. A reliable person with equal qualities, as well as the inevitable certain imperfect traits, making the man a true human being, the perfect make up for a great dad!

With all the ups and downs a man is capable of going through, a great dad is someone who is most of the time there for you, making the efforts and interests to be part of your life. After all, who is going to be your best teacher, your best judge, your best role model and your best friend, if not your dad... alongside your mum of course!

People come naturally in all shapes and forms and some might find my description of what makes a great dad perhaps, a wee bit unrealistic in our day and age. Though the road to hold the distinguished badge of parenthood in true fatherhood does seem from Laura King’s research paper, not so much a far fetched ideal! As it seems 'Fatherhood' is more likely to be, not so much 'the road less travelled', as the road under 'indefinite construction', being constantly reengineered as a whole town comes gradually sprouting to life! 

However, just like when looking at a nutritious source, what differentiate the good apple from the rotten one is in its core! The core has to be fresh, clear and clean. The heart has to pump at the rhythms of one's brain waves. The more pure and clear minded, the more all other feelings and emotions will filter through a transformational source, intelligent and bright, brilliant in every way. And I am not the only one to think this way about being Great:

“Not everybody can be famous but everybody can be great, because greatness is determined by service.” 
― Martin Luther King Jr

"Wherever you find a great man, you will find a great mother or a great wife standing behind him -- or so they used to say. It would be interesting to know how many great women have had great fathers and husbands behind them.” 
― Dorothy L. Sayers, Gaudy Night

“Nothing great will ever be achieved without great men, and men are great only if they are determined to be so.” 
― Charles de Gaulle

“The past is to be respected and acknowledged, but not worshipped; it is our future in which we will find our greatness.” 
― Pierre Trudeau

And 'our future' lies in our actions of today, the legacy we leave behind and the ways we raise our children!

Hence the extended love and affection with its exponential effects transferred to one's own little babies, comes the need to protect and safeguard the life journey of our own flesh and blood from infancy, through childhood, into teens, and soon adulthood. The life of your child is forever bound to yours in numerous magical ways! The umbilical cord may be cut at birth, but the tie of parenthood can never be severed... unless we blow a hole in it where the bond of fatherhood (or motherhood) is left bruised, deserted and poorly disconnected. 

A sad truth for many, who in the majority, go through life wanting yet never reaching an unfulfilled dream, trapped in a childhood loss, still waiting to be picked up and be lovingly protected.